where do the lost memories go?

Today in 1945, a lot of people were killed by a fireball with several hundred feet radius, formed in 0.1 millisecond, with a temperature of 300,000 degrees. It was floating above the ground and rising up at 30 yards per second following the initial explosion.

Wind (at several hundred miles per hour, first from the center to the outside, then from outside to back into the center), heat rays (reaching several thousand degrees), and radioactive ultra-violet rays, gamma rays, alpha and beta particles eminated from the explosion.

It is to date the greatest antonym of peace.

The result is this poem by a Turkish dude:

I Come and Stand

I come and stand at every door
But no one hears my silent tread
I knock and yet remain unseen
For I am dead, for I am dead.

I’m only seven although I died
In Hiroshima long ago
I’m seven now as I was then
When children die they do not grow.

My hair was scorched by swirling flame
My eyes grew dim, my eyes grew blind
Death came and turned my bones to dust
And that was scattered by the wind.

I need no fruit, I need no rice I
need no sweet, nor even bread
I ask for nothing for myself
For I am dead, for I am dead.

All that I ask is that for peace
You fight today, you fight today
So that the children of this world
May live and grow and laugh and play.

NAZIM Hikmet

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(intro, strings)

olursem kabrime gelme istemem
olursem kabrime gelme gelme istemem istemem istemem!

inim inim inle olme istemem. (the last e letter here is so long and strong here that Ibrahim Tatlises’ vocal penetrates through your ears travels to your heart and tear comes to your eyes)

inim inim inle olme istemem
istemem valla
istemem

strings again then a beautiful saz solo

akan gozyaslarimi silme istemem istemem
akan gozyaslarimi silme istemem

aciyip lutfedip sevme istemem (the last e letter here is so long and strong here )
aciyip lutfedip sevme istmemem

istemem, allah
istemem

English lyrics:

intro, strings

if I die don’t come to my tomb I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to.
if I die don’t come to my tomb I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to.

lament in pain and not die I don’t want you to. lament in pain and not die I don’t want you to.
I don’t want you to. Allah.
I don’t want you to.

don’t wipe my dropping tears. I don’t want you to.
don’t wipe my dropping tears. I don’t want you to.

Don’t pity and grant your love. I don’t want it.
Don’t pity and grant you love. I don’t want it.
I dont want it, allah
I don’t want it.

this guy is blogging from Iraq and he has some good points.and various people post very confused comments.
http://healingiraq.blogspot.com/

“…All the images of a long history of violence above have become deeply ingrained in Iraqi society, and I’m afraid we have become desensitized to such scenes a long time ago…”

tak tiki tak
makinalasmak istiyorum
mutlak buna bir care bulacagim
ve ben bahtiyar olacagim
karnima bir turbin oturtup
kuyruguma cift uskuru takacagim

my dog Efe passed away yesterday. He was 13 years old. One of the most beautiful Kangal’s in the world.

He was brought to us when he was a puppy. I had tought him most of the words he knew, using dry apricot (he loved dry apricot) Our house has a garden though we brought him to the forest once a week so that he can breathe. (he loved the forest) he would know that we are going there. We had found a secluded area in the forest. When we were there, he would run all around unconsciously. Peeing at his favorite spots, usually same trees each time. We’d get tired, he wouldnt want to come back to the vehicle. We’d drive slowly on the soil road for a while and he’d run around following us. Peeing near trees he decided necessary, and finally hop on the jeep when he decided to.

We have a multi-storey house. One night, when me and my sister (around 10 years old then) were watching TV upstairs, she decided to get water from the ground floor. She started walking down the stairs, just then I heard Efe’s footsteps on the stairs downfloor. He was not alowed upstairs but he was probably curious that night, he was going up the stairs slowly, one foot at a time, incidentally the same time that my sister was going downstairs. So I heard both of their footsteps slow down by time, they had both realized some noise coming towards them, and they both finally came to a full stop. There was a complete silence for a brief moment. Then I heard first my sisters then Efe’s footsteps thrust in seperate directions. My sister, scared, not realizing it was Efe on the stairs was shouting at me. Efe was running down the stairs to the bottom floor fullspeed. Big boy was scared.

When he got angry. The hair on his back, from neck to bottom would puff out. And that was something to see. He was a guard dog. He didn’t mind getting angry, barking. He didn’t do well with other dogs. There wasnt anywhere to bring him to play with other dogs, and when he grew up it was too late to take chances. There was a dog living on our street though; she would sneak in our garden to meet him once in a while

One day, when we were in our garden. A cat, this lunatic Van region cat jumped in from nowhere and started coming towards us although she saw Efe was with us. She stayed with us since then. We named her Shirin. They never played together but Efe never did anything to her. She would sneak into his area in the garden, even hit him with her front feet, Efe’s nose would bleed lightly from scratches but he wouldn’t do anything to her. I guess he had the idea that she was crazy.
I’ll miss Efe. I decided not to go to Turkey last December at the last minute. I so wish I did.

Today I (think) won the superbowl pool at work. $200!
I never thought I could be this happy to a superbowl result.

My chances of winning was 1/100. Or even less according to football fan ex-roomie Arif who said a score with 9 and 2 in the end digits was a score thats hard to hit in football.
I’m thinking of planning a tour to Atlantic City with people at work. I also won (a lottery ticket) at the companys Christmas Party!

It’s a full building ad. I wonder if they placed the it right across the subway entrance on purpose.

We partied so hard last night. it was ridicilous. We all got drunk. Some of us puked. each of us lost trace of time and space.

We started at Josh’s loft party. The loft had a great dj booth, perfect dj lineup, a lot of alcohol, great view of Manhattan and a happy crowd. I danced to various house music from classics to banging house. I made Josh a Turkish Millionaire as a New Years present. Congratulated the New Years of 3 Japanese in Japanese “Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu” , drank Southern Comfort for the first time and recorded the new years countdown on my camera.

we left there around 2am to go to Canal 59

and that is where I lost it. Me and Anca went straight for the top floor but the party that we came for which Magda was playing was indeed on the 1st floor. which none of us noticed. we lost our group. ex-roomie Arif joined us at around 3:00. a lot happened between us and unknown individuals. we found our group, split up.

I took this picture when we were leaving. both floors were packed.

we left around 5:30. home was only 10 blocks away.

a student jumped to death in NYU library yesterday. this is second in a month.

more information:
http://nyuview.citycynic.com/index.php?p=109&c=1

once i went there, as I took these pictures i wondered what a strange sound -it- would make…

“For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories and it is a pity that we use it so little.”